MY STRUGGLE WITH LIFE: PART I

Like clockwork, I open my iPhone to the same app repetitively after work each day for seemingly hours on end in a feeble attempt to catch up on the day:  Instagram.  It’s my favorite app and, if I’m being completely honest, a time sucker to say the least.  To catch up on my feed from the day takes about an hour of just scrolling through the photos.  That doesn’t including commenting and liking in an effort to socialize and drive traffic to my page as well.  I wish I had time throughout the day to view it and take in the posts in small chunks, but with as busy as my full time actual career is, that just can’t happen.  During my workday, that app doesn’t have the time or the priority to be open.  I’m okay with that.  However, I am confident that that’s the reason my account has dramatically slowed in growth since last Summer.  I just don’t have the time to devote to it when actual matters of life and work are more pressing in nature.  Remember how I said in a past post that I would much rather be busy than bored?  I’m confident that I’ll never truly know what boredom feels like.  As odd as it sounds, I’m happy about that.  I always always have an ever growing to do list:  whether personal, graduate school related, or career related.  There is always something I should/could be doing.

It’s kind of funny, my husband and I were grabbing groceries at Target and we passed the book section.  I’ve been OBSESSED with the show Big Little Lies (watching shows with my husband is part of how we equate to some time together-usually with me scrolling through Instagram or writing a blog post at the same time) in part because the story is amazing and in part because it was filmed near where we live.  Anyway, I was dying to pick up the book that the show was based off of.  My husband looked at me and stated, “When are you going to read that?!  You don’t have time for anything.”  I rolled my eyes and put the book in the cart anyway thinking, “I’ll read it…I’ll make time.”  I pushed the cart around the store thinking about when I was going to get the chance to read it.  By the end of our half an hour trip, I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t see a time in my foreseeable future where it would happen and I placed the book back on the shelf.  A new graduate school course starts next week.  All the days (and a few nights) on my work calendar are full of commitments.  My blog takes me away from the world for about two hours a night.  Then, as stupid as it sounds, to keep up with Instagram (including socializing and promoting blog posts) takes up another hour or two.  Then, of course, I need to ensure that I’m spending some time with my husband and maintaining some contact with my family and friends.  Let’s break it down into numbers:  getting ready for work:  2 hours + work: 9 hours + graduate school:  2 hours per night + blog (post writing):  2 hours per night + Instagram/driving traffic to IG & the blog:  2 hours per night + family time/dinner:  2 hours per night + sleep:  <5 hours per night = 24 hours.  Sometimes, I feel as though the answer is simple.  There may not be enough hours in the day.  However, I refuse to accept that. One quote that always resinates with me is “People make time for what is important.  If it is important, you will find a way.”  I’m not sure that that’s true.  Truth be told, I sometimes feel as though I’ve made too many things important in my mind.  I have four main areas of priority in my life currently:  family/friends, career, graduate school, and my blog.  If I’m completely honest, I’m always making someone or other in my personal life upset because “I don’t have time” to sit around and visit.  Truthfully, if I’m not working on something, I feel as though I’m not doing what I need to.  Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I just crash on the weekend & get absolutely nothing productive done.  However, they are getting rarer in nature. Forgive me for this long, drawn out, slightly depressing post.  I’ve gone back and forth as to whether I should hit publish on it or place it in a virtual trashcan.  However, I always want to be real.  I’m an over thinker by nature.  Every move I make is overly calculated, over-planned and over-analyzed.   I want to make it clear that I am happy with how life is going.  I love that I am busy and always have something going on.  I just wonder….how much more can I add before something falls apart?!  Sometimes, my zest for blogging has faded by bedtime and a post just can’t seem to make it’s way out of my finger tips.  I absolutely adore this little creative outlet and hope that maintaining it will naturally fall into place.  However, if posts, get sporadic during the week, know that it’s not because I don’t want to post….It’s most likely that I’ve fallen asleep on my keyboard again.  🙂This week, I hope to spend some time on Pinterest exploring time management tips/calendar ideas.  If I find anything groundbreakingly helpful, I’ll be sure to bring it back and share with you all!

In the meantime, in an effort to speed up the post writing component of blogging and give me a little added inspiration, what posts would you like to see??????  Comment below to help guide me to create some content that you all would love to read.

xoxo,

Abbie

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4 Comments

  1. April 5, 2017 / 8:18 am

    Girl I feel ya!! This is exactly what was happening to me earlier this year. I decided to cut my posts back to 3x per week (and even that is hard sometimes!) but it’s taken a lot of pressure off me so that I can focus on ALL the important things i’ve got going on in my life! Bravo to you for keeping it real 🙂

    • April 5, 2017 / 7:58 pm

      That’s impressive. I will have to consider that as grad school kicks into high gear. It’s hard to realize that there are only so many hours in a day! Thanks for the tips! Good luck keeping life balanced too!💕

  2. April 5, 2017 / 10:00 am

    I love Big Little Lies! The show was even better than the book, in my opinion. I would HIGHLY recommend trying the audiobook though! I love the woman who narrates Moriarty’s books. You could listen to the audio during your commutes 🙂

    Also, the book takes place in Australia, just so you know for that big difference! haha 😛

    • April 5, 2017 / 7:55 pm

      What a great idea! I’ll have to consider that!:)

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